Santa Alucard
by katdemon1895
Summary: It's Christmas time in England, but that doesn't stop the ghouls and freaks from coming out. So of course Alucard and the Police Girl are called to get rid of them. Unfortunately they're too late to save a very special person...


Disclaimer: I do not own anything. This is my first story and all flames will be used against characters I don't like or ignored. My bestest friend helped me write this

It is Christmas time in England but that doesn't stop ghouls from attacking. So, of course, Alucard and his fledgling must get rid of them. Unfortunately, they get rid of one ghoul too many…

Chapter: The Mall

"The mission is accomplished Master." Alucard said with a smirk into his walkie-talkie. His fledgling, Seras Victoria, stood off to the side looking through various shirts and skirts in a store. Alucard was, of all places, in the mall. Apparently a few dozen ghouls and their freak leader had attacked a mall for no obvious reason though Integra had people searchign for potential motives. It had been a quiet month and, since they were getting bored, Integra had allowed Alucard and Seras to take care of the ghouls instead of sending the Geese.

"Good, well then servant" before Integra could continue a woman's loud scream was heard. Both vampires turned and saw a woman holding a Santa suit, with a ghoul's arm still inside.

"What's the matter?" Integra's voice demanded. Somehow the hysterical woman heard and answered.

"Our Santa's been eaten and the orphans are coming in an hour! We promised them Santa!" she wailed. Alucard looked at the woman without care and was preparing to leave when Integra spoke again.

"Alucard, did you kill Santa?" Integra's voice did not bode well to the vampire.

"Police girl did." Alucard replied immediately. Seras looked up, an indignant expression on her face,

"I did not! I only took out the elves!" she cried out. Alucard prepared himself for whatever Integra would say. But for a moment it was silent except for the woman's wailing and the sounds of the men cleaning up.

"She promised them Santa?" Integra demanded. There was another wail heard. The woman had just found the remains of Mrs. Claus. Even Integra winced at the deafening shrieks the woman was producing.

"Yes Master." Alucard replied hesitantly while Seras tried to calm the woman down. The young vampire girl then used her own walkie-talkie to talk to Integra.

"Sir Integra, could I please stay behind for a little longer. I would like to replace Mrs. Claus." Seras offered, unable to think of anything else that would make the banshee stop. The woman's wailing immediately paused for a brief moment and everyone took a sigh of relief until,

"BUT WE STILL NEED A SANTA!" Everyone winced, and Seras covered her ears and Alucard glared at the woman and wished his master would let him loose for just one minute.

"Alucard, you're Santa until the orphans leave. Seras you're Mrs. Claus. I'll send over a few elves." Integra's voice came over the walkie talkies, her tone broking no argument. Before Alucard could protest Integra had shut off her walkie-talkie.

"Here's the costume, it's a good thing you're the right height. You'll just need a lot of padding and you'll be perfect! Oh but what can we do about that hair?" the woman babbled immediately as she seemed to completely recover from the trauma she had just witnessed. She had a tape measurer out and Alucard was watching her warily as another woman suddenly appeared and led Seras away.

"This way dearie, we're got to get you into costume." The second woman said cheerfully.

By the time the orphans came everything had been cleaned up and the mall had somehow been transformed from a gory battle scene into a winter wonderland. Fake snowflakes were shimmering on the walls and in the air as they hung on lengths of fishline. Fake snow covered every possible rail and a few of the larger piles of corpses, a plastic reindeer had even been pieced back together. As if to crown their monumental achievement, in the middle was a set of giant crossed candy canes, in front of which was a gold and red velvet throne. Upon the throne lounged a considerably thinner than usual Santa with a pair of odd orange sunglasses. He was scowling, a sight so scary that the orphans were reluctant to go near him. But standing just behind the horrifying Santa was a more welcoming sight. It was a woman dressed as Mrs. Claus. Her smile was warm and inviting and while her eyes were red they were kind and inviting. A lock of her blonde hair escaped from the white wig she wore and she held a bucket of candy canes.

A man with a long orange braid, dressed as an elf, came up to the first child and cleared his throat awkwardly. The children shrank back slightly; the eye patch wasn't very comforting.

"So who wants to come see Santa first?" the elf asked. The children huddled together and then the head of the orphanage came in. He had been talking to the woman who had set up the whole thing. But as soon as he saw Santa…

"DIE SPAWN OF THE DEVIL!" he shouted and the Paladin priest Alexander was rushing at Santa Alucard, weapons out. Alucard eagerly stood to meet the priest, his grin going from unsettling to disturbing.

"Tanta!" cried a little girl and suddenly Alucard found himself sitting down again with an adorable little girl on his lap. She had huge blue eyes and wore her brown hair in a pair of pigtails held in place by a pair of large pink bows which matched her entire winter outfit. Alucard felt his eye twitch. The insane priest had stopped in mid-attack, one of his swords inches away from the girl's head. He froze, his face pale and his expression horrified.

"Tanta! I wanna teddy bear for Chwistmas!" she squealed happily. Again Alucard's eye twitched and Seras spoke up,

"Thank you for talking to Santa, Caroline. Our head elf will write it down and we'll do our best to make sure you get a teddy bear for Christmas. Now, would you like a candy cane and a picture?" Seras question and the girl agreed to going through the picture in return for the sweet treat. Though, she did refuse to leave Alucard's lap until she saw that Pip had written down teddy bear on a piece of paper. But before she left to join the others, she looked at Seras.

"How did you know my name?" the little girl asked. Her eyes were almost inhumanly large and innocent looking. Seras almost felt horrible for what she would say but she did it anyway,

"I'm Mrs. Claus silly, did you think it was just Santa who knew every little boy and girl?" she managed a credible facsimile of a giggle. Besides, the child wouldn't believe that Seras had not too long ago managed to master some telepathy and now used that skill to skim the minds of the children and learn their names.

After the bravery little Caroline displayed, the other children began to more willingly come to Alucard, who was trying his best to just sit still and not go off to fight the Paladin instead. The priest Alexander was still frozen with shock that one of his charges would actually go willingly to an abomination. Because he was in the way, Pip had to move the priest to another room, just incase he came out of his frozen state too early and ruined everything. As an added precaution, Seras persuaded her master to put the priest to sleep. He agreed after she promised that she wouldn't interfere the next time they fought and that she would try to distract Integra so his master wouldn't interfere either.

It took two hours before all of the children had requested their presents of 'Santa' who took the opportunity to read the children's minds for various pieces of information about the priest that he could use for blackmail. In his mind he laughed maniacally and was careful to do no more than smile insanely due to, not fear, but a sense of apprehension since he was fairly certain that Integra would do something really nasty to him if he messed this up.

"Okay everyone, that's it! Santa has to go home now." Seras called to the many orphans who all looked at her with huge eyes.

"Aawww!" the cried in unison. Alucard was mentally dancing for joy and prepared to get out of there as soon as possible but not before he completed a little project…

II

A few weeks later, Anderson had finally gotten over the trauma he had gone through at the mall, just in time for Christmas morning. The priest prepared himself for the usual disappointed faces. With all the traveling that some of the other agents of Iscariot had to do, there was barely enough money to perform a proper nativity play much less get the right presents for all the children. He slowly came downstairs but his pace quickened when he heard various screams and squeals. Could a vampire have dared…?

But the scene before him was not bloody at all but incredibly joyous. Little Caroline ran up to him, holding a teddy bear tightly in her arms. Anderson stared at the bear in almost horror for both the bear and its new owner were wearing very familiar looking red hats.

"Tanta came! He rewwy came!" Caroline squeaked as she hugged the bear even tighter. Anderson then noticed that not only were both the girl and the bear wearing very familiar hats, they also wore a pair of matching red jackets in a very familiar style.

"Here Father Anderson, I was told to give you this." Said Peter, who was looking joyfully through his new Bible. Anderson warily took the envelope the young boy handed him and opened it carefully. Inside there were two things, a letter and a picture.

_Dear Father Anderson_

_To begin with, I wish you a merry Christmas. Now that I have written that, here's the point. Come near me or my friends with the intent to kill again and this picture will be given and printed on the front page of every newspaper I can think of. _

_Sincerely,_

_Seras Victoria_

Alexander Anderson stared in horror at the blackmail presented to him. It was a picture of himself but like no other picture he had ever seen before. He was wearing a reindeer suit! Complete with antlers and a glowing red nose. In his hoof like hands there was even a bottle of the devil's drink, alcohol.

Several hundreds of miles away, Alucard suddenly tilted his head slightly towards the window, as if he heard something.

"Something the matter Master?" Seras asked as she wondered if her Christmas presents had been received.

"Nothing Police Girl, but I think my Christmas just got quite a bit better. Merry Christmas Police Girl."

"Merry Christmas Master and thank you for opening those portals for me."

"No trouble at all Police girl."

* * *

So I went back and polished it up a bit, hopefully it's a bit better, please tell me what you think!


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